A Different Kind of Christmas

Let me just start by saying I LOVE CHRISTMAS! I love ALL things Christmas.  I love the music, cookies, parties, family coming from far away, Christmas cards, decorations.  I love it all! Well, except the Elf of the Shelf….that little guy creeps me out.  I love ALMOST all things Christmas.  Creepy elves notwithstanding, this is my favorite time of the year.

Christmastime just feels different.  It feels bright and hopeful. The Christmas lights make an otherwise ordinary neighborhood, seem magical and Narnian. Grudges are put aside and relationships are rekindled. Even the secular world seems to understand that there is something important and mystical about this time of year.

Christmas and the preparation before, Advent, are a departure from everyday coming-and-goings. It is an opportunity to reflect on the goodness and love of God.  A chance to push through the distractions and sit, like Mary, at the feet of Jesus.  But how often do we get caught up in the busyness of Christmas? How often do we let our “to-do” list or “to-buy” list keep us from soaking in how beautiful this time of the year can be? How often are we Martha, when we should be Mary?

I had a pretty incredible and life-changing Lent this year.  Since then, I have been on a journey to simplify.  To learn to have less, to be content with less. So naturally this journey is leading me to a different kind of Christmas.  A Christmas that hopefully looks less like the world, and more like Jesus.

Because lists are easy and who doesn’t like a good list,  I’ve made a list of 3 ways my Christmas is already looking a little different this year.

1.  My sister and I have decided to exchange family gifts.  Between the two of us, we have 7 children, 2 husbands, 1 dog, and a partridge in a pear tree.  That’s a lot of stuff.  So in an effort to reduce the stuff, we are giving a gift that will draw the other family closer to each other.  The gift of family time. The gift of experience.  The gift of less.

2.  One of my most important goals as a parent, is to raise grateful children.  Children who understand and appreciate the everyday luxuries we experience.  Children who have concern and empathy for those who don’t enjoy the same luxuries.  I’m learning, though, that grateful children do not just happen.  It is a very intentional and difficult process. It is a process of sometimes saying “no”, even when you have the means to say “yes”.  We started fairly early on in our parenting journey only giving our kids 3 gifts at Christmas. Guess what? They’ve never been disappointed on Christmas morning.  They have been able to truly enjoy the gifts they receive. They will learn and grow from the gift of “no.” (I did not mean for that to sound so Dr. Seuss, but you’re welcome.)

2 1/2. Along the lines of gift giving,  I’ve been trying to change the way my mind thinks of what constitutes a good gift.  A dollar amount?   A checked off item from a list? More stuff to fill up space?  I’m thinking outside the box this year.  I’m shopping second-hand, giving experiences rather than stuff, giving my time, and making gifts.  I cleaned and downsized my kids’ toys a few weeks ago because we were drowning in them. A few friends came and picked up things that were literally just collecting dust. One friend got all her sons Christmas toys. This is what Christmas gift-giving can look like.  Swapping, sharing, giving, loving.  It doesn’t have to cost a bunch of money and several hours at the mall to be a good gift.

3.  I’ve tried to celebrate Advent as a family in the past, but got burned out.  Mostly because I was still trying to keep up with all the Christmas craziness.  So this year, we are doing Advent.  We are focusing on preparing our hearts, not just our tree.  We are doing a simple Jesse Tree devotion every morning.  I drew a tree on a white board (we aren’t fancy in this house),  and I’m giving my kids the gift of anticipation in Jesus’ coming.  I’m giving them the gift of knowing the whole of history was groaning for Jesus to come.  I’m giving them the gift of understanding what an amazing thing happened on Christmas morning.

All that being said,  I can’t wait to decorate my Christmas tree and I’ve already started listening to Christmas music.  I’m sending out Christmas cards, and I will probably buy something from the mall at some point.  I’m not on a rampage against consumerism, but I am making the commitment this year of less.  I will buy less.  I will do less.  I will hang up my apron for a little while, and sit at the feet of Jesus.

Giving Jars and Giving Thanks

A few of weeks ago, my husband and I, along with a group of amazing adults and teens, attended the SC Diocesan Youth Conference. This is youth led conference for youth.  It’s amazing and powerful.  It’s a weekend I look forward to all year long.  This year was no different.  The weekend of the conference always falls right at the beginning of Lent, so I had just started this crazy Lenten journey and I was pumped to grow and be nourished with 700+ Catholics from around the state. The conference started out as to be expected. Amazing skits.  Awesome speakers.  Great music.  My heart was hungry for this.  I had been craving a time set aside to really worship and focus on God.  I needed to have my cup filled. As we were getting ready to head back to our rooms Friday night, we found out the conference center had no water. What!? How can you have a conference with 700+ people staying on campus without running water? Well you can’t. The conference had to be cut short.  My heart was broken.  It was broken for the youth who had planned the conference.  They had put so much work into planning and organizing this weekend.  It was broken for our youth who wouldn’t get to experience the joy and renewal this conference brings.  And it was broken for myself.  I had looked forward to this weekend.  I needed this.  Didn’t God know we all needed this weekend?

We had a short morning session on Saturday, then Mass.  Both were powerful and much needed.  This is what my heart had been groaning for.  Time with Jesus and other people who loved Him too.  Before we headed home, they had one last speaker come out.  His name was Thomas Awiapo, and he ruined me.

He started by telling his story of growing up in Ghana.  He had been orphaned at an early age, seen his younger siblings die from malnutrition, and felt the overwhelming ache of hunger. Then he dropped the bomb. He said how sorry he was for us that our conference had to be cut short because of the water issues, but maybe we can now understand a little more what children in his country go through.  They walk for miles to get to dirty water, that will most likely make them sick.  By this point, I was unable to sob gracefully anymore.  I had broken down into a full-on, ugly, borderline hysterical cry.  My concerned husband asked if I was okay.

 “No, I’m not okay.  God is ruining my life!”

My husband just blinked at me as Thomas continued his story. Unsure how he was going to survive, he followed some kids with food to a Catholic Relief Services supported school.  The school would feed the children if they attended, so he started going to school in order to receive a meal.  He held up a familiar little box.  It was a rice bowl.  Most churches pass them out during Lent to collect money for CRS.  He held up the box and told us it had saved his life.  Because of the money given to Catholic Relief Services, he was fed and given the opportunity to go to school.  Now he works for CRS Ghana helping other children receive the love he was shown.

This. is. what. it’s. all. about.

What’s the point in filling our cups, if we don’t seek to overflow on others?

I have been replaying this experience in my heart and mind for the past couple weeks, and praying about what my response should be.  What can I do to make a difference? How can I teach my children to be sensitive to the needs of others and foster a spirit of joyful giving? How can I soak our lives in gratitude? Cue the birth of the giving jar.

My hopes for the giving jar are for it to be a constant reminder of everything we have to be grateful for.  God has given us so much.  I want my children to be able to see how richly they have been given unto.  I also want them to feel the ache for our brothers and sisters who are hurting.  I want them to learn to give, not out of reluctance or guilt, but out of joy.  I want the giving jar to help teach our whole family what it means to really follow Christ.

I am so glad God is ruining my life because this new life I’m learning about is overflowing with love and grace.